5k, body image, memory lane, plus size fashion, shopping, weight loss, weight watchers

girl disappearing

I went shopping over the weekend at Old Navy and while in the dressing room trying on clothes I happened to notice how, well, slim my profile seemed. So, naturally, I took a photo and posted it on Facebook:

 And, naturally, a few friends commented on it:

These dear women, who I have known since childhood, are correct: I currently weigh less than I did in high-school. 

Maybe not when I was a freshman, but definitely when I graduated. While yes, I am also more toned, if you do side by side photos of my face the weight difference is incredible. Also, that top I’m trying on in the photo (and eventually purchased)? A Large. I don’t think I have ever worn a Large. I realize that sounds kind of silly, but so it goes. As long as I can remember, I have always needed at least an XL. And now my top half can fit into a Large. And I still have almost 60 lbs to go. Which means I will probably get into a Medium at some point. That’s just…wait, what

People talk about me “disappearing” all the time. I can’t visualize it, though. I see me all the time. I live with me, with this body. I look in the mirror multiple times every day. That makes it somewhat difficult to see the overall big picture when you live with the effects day in and day out. It’s people who haven’t seen me in awhile who are best able to really notice the difference. Standing in that dressing room in a Large top and XL skirt, it was like seeing myself for the first time in a long time. 

You can call me the Wicked Witch of the West Side: I’m just melting away. My “defy gravity” tattoo suddenly takes on a whole new meaning.

Speaking of melting away, I lost another 1.8 lbs this week. I was not expecting that, especially since last night I had a bit of a spoon-and-run with a jar of peanut butter. (It wasn’t pretty.) I know I always tell people that you need to eat to lose weight, but when it’s my own journey I tend to forget that. I always think of it as “overeating” when, really, it’s not. Not when I track everything I eat — the good, the bad, and the ugly — and am still within my Weight Watchers points.

Anyway, that brings my overall total to 95.2! Holy cow, I’m less than 5 lbs away from 100. In the beginning, I sincerely never would have believed I’d get this far. But here I am! I’m also just a few days away from my second 5K, so if any of you Clevelanders are looking for something to do this Saturday morning, feel free to swing by Strongsville and cheer me on! 

Love from the ashes,
Lady Lazarus

21 thoughts on “girl disappearing”

  1. That's awesome! I would love to know what your current tattoo looks like. I have toyed with the idea for ages! My first goal present is an iPad…but I have a long way to go.


  2. Holy moly, Jill, you really are a girl disappearing! And in the whole process, you've found this great style (LOVE the Maxi dresses, t-shirt and stretchy skirts, etc.), had a great sense of humor, and told such an inspiring story. I can't wait to see you hit your goal! And sometime when I'm in NE Ohio, I'll run a 5k with you!


  3. I was just thinking about the sense of style the other day! I never in a million years would have paired a maxi skirt and graphic t-shirt, mostly because I never would have owned a maxi skirt 🙂 Amazing what a lil bit of self confidence can do for a gal!


  4. Holy Sh*T, girl!!! You are looking fantastic. I can't believe you have already made it to over 90lbs. lost. Keep your head high and I can't wait to see your 100lb. post 🙂 Way to go.


  5. I love love love the photo of you in the Old Navy dressing room. (Admittedly I have a photo like that too…but I didn't get to buy the dress I was wearing because I could barely get it back off!)

    You are looking amazing, and I love your hair in a little pony tail — cute!


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