Back in the day I used to be a huge scrapbooker. I scrapbooked my way through high-school and college, including all of those important events like my 21st birthday and that year where instead of a birthday I had a Halloween party and dressed up as Magenta from Rocky Horror Picture Show. There were trips to Europe and New York City. And, of course, prom:
|My dress had to be ordered from a catalog. In Spring 2000, stores carried
very limited options for girls my size.
I had a huge box full of stickers and fancy paper and punches and paper cutters. Oh yeah, I was hardcore. I fell out of the hobby shortly after graduating from college, so when One Ordinary Mom mentioned to me a few weeks ago that she made a scrapbook out of her racing bibs I jumped at the idea.
|Me and Papa G. in the upper left|
Each page has the name of the race, the location, date, and my time. Of course, so far it only has two pages. And the first page is pretty boring because there aren’t any pictures. But that’s okay, if only because it will help remind me to get pictures with each future race.
I really love the idea of saving and representing each race this way. And One Ordinary Mom is right: it’s the easiest scrapbook page to put together. You don’t really need anything fancy, although because I’m me, I did buy some running stickers and cheap fancy scissors (it’s how I got the wave on the paper with the race info on it). Standing in the aisles at Pat Catan’s I had to seriously restrain myself from going all accessory sticker crazy. Whew.
Over the weekend, Sissy and her fiance were in town and on Friday afternoon, Sissy, Mom and I went shopping (I fit into a size 16!) and then went out to lunch at PF Chang’s. I knew in advance where we were going, so I did my usual thing and checked the website for nutritional info and wrote up a list of good options and that way once I actually got to the restaurant I had some choices depending on what I was in the mood for, how hungry I was, etc. (I ended up going with the Dim Sum lunch, which was a small salad and six steamed dumplings. I chose three veggie, three edamame.)
The more I thought about it, though, I realized that’s exactly why I should blog about it. I know I make it look all peaches and cream these days, but let me tell you it wasn’t always like that. I weighed over 200 lbs in high-school. Hello, that sort of thing doesn’t just happen accidentally. Back in college, a visiting writer encouraged all of us to write the story we’re afraid to tell. That’s what this is and if my sharing the ugly truth can help someone else, then that’s what I need to do.
Not gonna lie: I’m feeling very nervous and vulnerable and uncomfortable at the prospect of talking about this. Even just writing part one made me a little sick to my stomach because I haven’t thought about this shit in years. Because nobody knew how bad it really was, for no other reason than as I got older I got better at hiding it. Literally.
Because to fully appreciate where I am right now (-98.4!), you have to fully appreciate where I was back then. So come back Wednesday for part one of my history with food and disordered eating.
If you’re a runner, how do you save or display your racing bibs or marathon medals?
Love from the ashes,