Daily Points: 38
I basically took off the past two weeks. I barely exercised. I didn’t make the best food choices, although I tracked everything. That said, I definitely earned those nearly 6 pounds. So here I am, three months later, and I’m about a pound heavier than when I started.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a ton about this entire thing and I think I’ve been approaching it all wrong. In the beginning, five years ago when I weighed 311 pounds, weight loss was easy because it was my only focus. Now, life has changed. Priorities have changed. I’ve changed. What worked before hasn’t been working again.
Since regaining weight, I’ve been trying to fit my lifestyle to a diet plan. But that’s all wrong. That’s like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole and I think that’s why I’ve been struggling and driving myself crazy. What’s that saying about doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results? What I need to do is fit a diet plan into my lifestyle.
My birthday is a week away and it’s, naturally, making me a little nostalgic while also looking ahead to the future. I turn 34 next week which means I turn 35 next year which means I turn 40 in six years. So then I asked myself, where do I want to be when I’m 40? How do I want to look when I ring in a new decade?
I want to be back down to 200 lbs. For some reason, that’s a magic number to me. I liked 200, I looked damn good at 200, and I’d like to weigh it again. In fact, that’s the number I’ve been striving for this entire time and not only not coming anywhere close to it, I’ve been yo-yoing and moving in the opposite direction.
So now, I’m taking the long view: I have a six year plan. Even if it takes me six years to lose those 60 pounds at 10 pounds a year, I’m okay with that. It’s probably actually better than what I’ve been trying to do which is lose 60 lbs in a single year. Have I done it before? Sure, like five years ago when that was my only priority. That’s not realistic right now. With the six year plan, it averages out to 1 pound a month which, granted, I know, seems like I’m selling myself short but in all honesty I’m just being realistic. Three months later and I’m up a pound, so clearly losing 1 pound a month is not easy for me right now.
Instead of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole and feel bad and beat myself up in the process, I’m going to take a step back and reexamine my methods. Maybe that means following Weight Watchers one week and counting calories the next. I don’t know what this is going to look like, but I do know that what I need to do is find that round peg to fit the round hole.
Love from the ashes,