Yesterday, I did something I haven’t done in a really, really, really long time…
I registered for a race.
I know, right?
Not just any race, mind you. No, no, I registered for the Donut Worry Run Happy 5K, which is being hosted by my beloved Brewnuts. Because sometimes, a gal just needs a little extra motivation and donuts and beer and donuts made with beer will do that.
And I do need some extra motivation. Ever since the Cleveland Marathon Expo, I have been trying to get back out there. I bought brand-new (and much needed) running shoes. I have recharged my Garmin Forerunner. I have even put those shoes and that Garmin watch on and gone out for a run.
The challenge isn’t getting out and going for a run that first time. The challenge is being consistent and sticking to a training plan and going back out for a second and third time and doing it week after week after week.
The challenge is learning how to run free of diet culture. I still haven’t quite figured that part out yet. That first run, I’m fine. But soon I’m bogged down with concerns about how many calories I’m burning. I become hyperfocused on every single piece of food I am eating and the old morality of “good” versus “bad” foods sneaks in. I also can become obsessed with my weight and the number on the scale and critical of my body.
None of this is good, y’all. And I have no idea how to fix it.
So I am hoping that by registering for a race being hosted by a FUCKING DONUT COMPANY, I can learn to embrace running again with a fresh perspective.
I’m using a Jeff Galloway plan, and training starts in two weeks. Which means, in two weeks, there may be a resurgence of my weekly training recaps. I’m still undecided, but if nothing else, those recaps always gave me an opportunity to work through some of the shit in my head so this time around they may help me as I work towards separating the peanut butter from the jelly.