I won’t lie, I’m struggling y’all. I am in a season of my life I am very much used to as my depression always intensifies in autumn. I thankfully have an appointment with my psychiatrist this week and I may discuss temporarily upping my dosage because right now, my meds aren’t working the way I need them to.
But even though I’m used to this cycle, it feels very different this year. I find myself fighting a lot of negative thoughts, mostly about my body. I’m in a bad body image cycle and it’s been lasting for awhile and I really have no idea how to get out of it.
And it’s not even about my body per se but about how the world views fat bodies like mine. Even though I ditched diet culture years ago, I’m not immune to the messages. It’s impossible, they are everywhere. Even James Corden in the video everyone is championing voices some pretty fatphobic comments. (No, James, you don’t actually have to lose the weight. And what’s with all the cheap shots about pie and fat people loving when things are sugar coated? 🙄) Luckily I am headed to one of my absolute favorite cities in the entire world this week: LAS FUCKING VEGAS. No matter how I feel about my body right now, I cannot wait to put on my swim suit and lounge by the pool, cocktail in hand.
#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #dietculturebs #antidietculture #riotsnotdiets #losehatenotweight #effyourbeautystandards #clevelandblogger #ohioblogger
Today would have been my mom’s 67th birthday. But we lost her to leukemia in October 2018.
All month long I’m participating in the #ColorsofCancer fundraiser. As part of this, I’m wearing orange for #leukemiaawareness. Today, my mom’s birthday, I’m sharing leukemia facts on my IG stories and asking you all to consider donating to my Colors of Cancer fundraiser by visiting the link in my profile.
September is also #BloodCancerAwarenessMonth, which seems fitting. Every dollar counts. So if you are able, please visit the link in my profile to donate to my Colors of Cancer fundraiser today 🧡🧡🧡 #fundraiser #leukemia #bloodcancer #cancerfundraiser #acutemyeloidleukemia @acsohio @americancancersociety @leukemialymphomasociety #leukemiafundraiser #clevelandblogger #ohioblogger #cancerawareness
Awhile back I had someone tell me that they appreciate how open I am about my personal struggles with mental health because it allowed them to seek help for themselves.
I wasn’t always open about it, struggling in silence. Before the publication of READING BEHIND BARS, I sat my dad and sister down and told them (warned them, really) that the book covers a very difficult season of my life when I contemplated suicide. The only other people who knew before that were my husband and therapists.
It’s not easy to talk about. It’s not easy to be open and it’s definitely not easy to ask for help. But on #worldsuicidepreventionday I just want you to know that you are not alone. Managing my #depression is a lot of really boring self care like taking my meds and going to my therapist even on days when I really don’t want to (especially on days when I really don’t want to). Because my depression isn’t just a phase where I’m feeling sad or stressed for a short period of time. It’s all day, every day. So learning how to manage it and not slip back down that rabbit hole is key.
My #TheBellJar tattoo is a reminder to me that I am still here. Through it all, I am still here. “I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.” #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #literarytattoo #literarytattoos #literaryink #clevelandblogger #clevelandbloggers #clevelandwriter #ohioblogger #ohiowriter