Maybe you're in a meeting or having a conversation with a friend or maybe it's a group of people you just met at a party. You say something or do something that indicates you misunderstood the conversation or misjudged the situation. It can be something completely innocent, no big deal really. Except your brain keeps dwelling on that one little comment. To the point that you are now convinced that the other person (or people) are silently judging you or looking down on you or think you're a fucking idiot hours, days, weeks, months, years later
Sound familiar?
This happened to me earlier in the week in a meeting -- I misunderstood a comment and my response made it seem like I had no fucking idea what I was talking about. I spent the rest of the day convinced my coworker thought I was an idiot. Even the next day, when I saw her, all I could think was "Ugh, every single time she looks at me she probably remembers that really dumb comment I made." Spoiler alert: this co-worker has so much of her own things to worry about, personally and professionally, that I guarantee she had completely forgotten about the comment I made. It's happened with managers, too, until I realize how utterly narcissistic it is to assume that some offhand comment I make registers anywhere in their miles long laundry list of projects and deadlines.
But #depression and #anxiety make us think that these mistakes or comments or situations follow us around. They're like the adult version of the "permanent record" we were always warned about in school.
I was talking about this therapy last night when I said "I am not the center of everyone else's universe." It's hard to forget sometimes, especially when your brain is constantly making you believe that everyone is thinking about you and judging you every second of every day.
They aren't. Your anxiety and depression are lying. You are not the center of everyone else's universe. (Now if I can just remember this when anxiety wakes me up at 2 in the morning to remind me of that one time I started crying in my 4th grade class because I couldn't remember how to spell vacuum during a spelling bee)
